I mentioned my correspondance with those lovely Nigerian scammers earlier. Woof found one of my responses entertaining, so I've posted the orginal message and my response here.
The original:
MR.Ozmundo S. Vasqualez [My alter ego]
YOUR MAIL REQUESTING FOR THE DEDUCTION OF £652 FROM FUND PRIOR TO TRANSFER IS WELL NOTED AND THIS IS THE BANKING PROCEEDURES WORLD WIDE.
HOWEVER THIS DEDUCTION IS ONLY POSSIBLE ON ACCOUNTS ACTIVE NOT DEACTIVATED ACCOUNTS LIKE YOURS WHICH YOU KNOW AND AGREE ON THE DOLLAR ACCOUNT CREATION THAT YOU SIGNED BEFORE THIS BANK 1998 FOR THAT SHOULD THIS ACCOUNT BE DEACTIVATE , YOU AND OR YOUR APPOINTED BENEFICIARY SHALL REACTIVATE THIS ACCOUNT FIRST BEFORE ANY OPERATION CAN BE DONE ON YOUR ACCOUNT.
FAILURE TO REACTIVAT THIS ACCOUNT AFTER TEN YEARS THEN THE ACCOUNT IS CONSIDERED AS INACTIVE. UPON THE ACCOUNT BEING DESIGNATED AS INACTIVE, YOUR ABILITY TO CARRY OUT
SELF-SERVED TRANSACTIONS (via The Green Machine or other automated banking machines, telephone and electronic banking) WILL BE REVOKED .
THEREFORE THIS REQUIRED FEES OF £652 IS A COMPULSORY PAYMENT AND DOES NOT STAND FOR ANY TRANSFER FEES ASSOCIATED TO THE TRANSFER WHICH AS YOU HAVE RIGHTLY SAID IS DUCTABLE.
YOU HAVE BEEN ATTACHED A FORM WHICH YOU ARE TO FILL AND SEND BACK TO THIS BANK ADMIN.DEPT. FOR APPROVAL.
THANK YOU
LASSINE DIAWARRA (PRESIDENT ADMIN.DEPT.)
OFFICE OF CONSEIL D'ADMINISTRATION
BANK OF AFRICA GROUPE BURKINA
FASO
Email: somemadeupaddress@africamail.com
THIS £652 FEES SHOULD BE SEND TO THE DEPARTMENT CASHIER MR.OGHUKO OTOBA VIA WESTERN UNION FOR QUICK PROCESSING OF YOUR FORM
My reply:
HI,
I'VE SPOKE TO A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE WHO WORKED IN A BANK AND HE SAYING THAT WHAT YOU ARE PROPOUNDING IS A FALSE ANALOGY OF THE HEINOUS AND INJURIOUS KIND.
ACCORDING TO THE BAKING CODE (SUBSECTION 542.78.3 I THINK HE SAID) THIS DOES NOT HAVE A VEIL OF RELEVANCE.
THEREFORE, I'D BE GRATEFUL IF YOU COULD EXPEDITIATE THIS MATTER WITH LASHINGS OF ALACRITY.
REGARDS,
OZMUNDO S. VASQUALEZ
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