Showing posts from July, 2006

More from Barrister Frank

He just keeps coming back:

--- frankwest chambers <> wrote:
Dear Oliver,

I am so sorry for the late response to your email by me. Infact i have been having a hard time here as i had been so busy in preparation of a court case which had to be decided by the jury yesterday.
Unfortunately for me i lost the case and was so weak, tired and so i had to file an appeal against the judgement, so i has been having it relatively raw here.

Meanwhile, i thank God for your lastest email where you drew my attention to the previous email where you forwarded the content of the application form from the bank to me.

As a matter of fact, i could not pay a good attention to that previously, but by the very fact that you refered me thereto, i have been able to ascertain what is really required and and i am sending it herewith.

I would like you to write them in continuation of the apology that you could not be able to get back to them on time. So they should treat you with ut …

Indoor Airshow

If this video doesn't make you ooh and ahh, you're too cycnical and jaded, go and relax somewhere and contemplate life.


It's not a monkey, it's a chimpanze!

Would YOU proudly show off your balls?

I thought I'd post something for anyone who happen's to be feeling a geekiness moment creeping over them. Ah, that brings back so many memories of my school, where 'outed' geeks would have been taken into the toliets and soundly beaten. Great Salterns School, where high levels of academic achievement and teenage preganancy went hand in hand - sometimes literally.

I wonder whatever happened to Douglas Phillips. He was famed for slicing another boy's face open in the toilets with a razor blade (cluedo anyone) and nearly removing his own thumb in the process. Razor blades are double sided? Doh! He was also attributed with the 'inserting a semi-circle of copper wire in the science room mains socket' incident.

Wishful thinking

I hadn't seen this before, but it was probably created by a biker.

A very buzzy cow

It's amazing how much the field(!) of robotics has advanced these days. It looks so animal-like in the way it recovers from being kicked.

Please ring 419

Thanks to Seb for this latest little gem of a scam. Whilst selling a phone on eBay, Seb received a 'buy now' selection from a potential customer and the following message:

Compliment of the day,I am Bob Ezeala From USA, presently in Canada on a business trip. I saw your item advert on ebay and i'm interested in buying it for my son who is studying a Computer Science Course in the University of Lagos,Nigeria. i will like you
to get back to me as soon as possible then i want you to send me the total cost including the cost of shipping to Lagos,Nigeria.I don't mind the cost,I will be sending you my payment via PayPal,So send me your (PAYPAL EMAIL ADDRESS) so as to immediately make out my payment.Make sure you get the package ready for shipment today okay?.Plz i want the item to be shipped via Royal Mail international signfor'  to Nigeria. Expecting your reply so as to immediately make out my payment for this item purchase.

Presumably Bob's son is st…

Japanese and their dominoes

Regular readers (I know you're out there) will be aware of the strange fascination with dominoes that the Japanese have developed. This latest video demonstrates what would happen if a young group of men with too much time on their hands came to Woof's house.

Greek Bike Accident

This guy must be made out of rubber or something.

If you're not a biker, this won't mean much

Kate and I arrived back yesterday from a little jaunt up to Knockhill for the BSB races. We took a day-long ride up, including the Lake District on our route and a few comfort stops along the way. Even(!) the lowlands of Scotland are beautiful and Dumfries is a gorgeous place. I once went deer hunting and trout fishing there - although not simultaneously as it's rather difficult to creep up on a deer with a fishing rod. In fact it's bloody difficult with a high powered rifle that you've just used to punch a neat hole in a practice target at 200 yards. They can smell you. Well, they could smell me anyway. Bambi doesn't like Polo. The A702 is a nice cruising road. It has rolling hills as a backdrop and a good mix of straights and sweeping bends. It's one of those roads that has the kind of visibility that allows you to make good time across country on whilst admiring the scenery with relaxed glances off to the side.

On the way home I realised something; I've succe…

While we're on the subject of fouls

How about this little collection of beauties. Having studied Kung Fu, I was most impressed with the fine technique of one particular flying kick.

You want more childish humour?

You are insatiable, that's what you are. This comes from a work colleague...

Are you reading IT?

Being a happy IT worker (I think I can describe myself as that, although I score lower in geek tests than Woof), I am an ardent reader of The Register. This is a fine publication that has the irreverent tone mixed with grindingly anal corporate IT stories that you would expect. BOFH is someone whom many of us can relate. Anyway, there are often chucklicious stories adorning their pages such as the eBay Jesus prophet cure for cancer and new video evidence in the Zidane headbutt incident.

Well worth a read if you're vaguely computer literate.

Is it me, or are the Japanese odd?

I suppose it takes all sorts to make a world and it's a fairly shallow view to assume that one's own mental model of the world is the right one. That said, have a look at Ikenie. Woof is big (but shrinking massively) into Japanese outpourings.

Continuing the 419 theme

There is some fantastic language in this latest missive from Barrister Frank:

My Dear Oliver, It
is with trust and confidence that i am making this appeal to you, having been so far intimated and acquinted with you through this maens. I have really felt for the kind of person you seem to be and i am
really glad about you. However, i have recognised that we would rather not have to use this medium alone. If we could see face to
face, we could better comprehend the need of the moment and mutually venture into resolving the matter. We could better express our feelings and regards for each other as potential friens and partners in progress
if we could talk orally through the phone or even face to face . Yet, i am rather more excited and pleased about meeting you, even through this means. Meanwhile, i wish to tell you that the Bank have re-issued me a notice to activate on the claim or have the money confiscated within the next 14 working days, hence i have presented you before them. They notifie…

Fancy a game of Pong?

Have you ever wondered what happens inside a game of Pong?

Do you remember the A Ha video?

If not, then here's a reminder for you. OK, it may not quite match your memory of the original, but hey, that's the Internet for you.

Some people have too much spare time

I must stop using the stairs. I never realised that I was missing out on so much.

Are you feeling stressed?

Try some bubble wrap.

I was wearing headphones set at a low volume level when I first clicked the 'fresh sheet' button. I though somebody was calling me for a moment.

Pearls of wisdom

I don't normally go for these lists of "Twenty things not to say to a pregnant iguana" that you find dotted across the Web, but this little list is probably the closest to a collection of things that I'd nod sagely at and agree with.

Incidentally, suggestions for the "Twenty things not to say to a pregnant iguana" list will be gratefully received.

1. Hi, I love bamboo chicken. (look it up)...

Digital Manipulation

As Woof will testify, I'm a bit fan of taking an image and tweaking it for effect.  This site has something a little disturbing about it , but I like it.

Spare a thought for those less fortunate


Flash Game

If you want to use up a few spare minutes, mindlessly blasting things with your finger, try

An old theme reworked

I think the beetle is my favourite.


Somewhere I posted a link to the original version of this Flash 'utility' (argh, bastards). For those of you with political interests (esp. Womble?), this one may or may not be more entertaining.

Time to write

'They' have taken away my daytime release valve. All blogs are now blocked by the firewall at work, so now I can't take a break and get away from the grind for a couple of minutes to put down some thoughts and escape. I have one or more colleagues who insist on taking the negative view on everything and telling me all the reasons why something can't be done, rather than looking at the solutions. I've got to admit that it is wearing me down over time. Maybe I too should join the nest of negativity. Votes on a postcard please.

I found myself getting unreasonably angry at a utitlity this morning. NPower had decided that they were going to increase my direct debit by £8.00 per month. Now, I'm in credit and finished last year in credit as well., so I thought I'd give them a ring and say "don't increase my direct debit". Anyway, to cut a long story short, the letter is wrong and I 'should' be paying £3.50 a month more. Apparently, the guidan…

More 419 fun

Dear Barrister Frank,

Good day and best regards. I am sorry I have to make a lengthy writing in order to enhance your conception of this claim. So I pray you to be patient and read with a willing heart for understanding.

My conception does not need enhancing thank you. I have always felt that children would be an unecessary financial burden.

I feel astonished being informed that the FINANCE BANK OF NIGERIA has contacted you in regards to the claim. What a prompt response!

Well, considering that we had not agreed to do business, I was astonished too.

Meanwhile, you should stop being a scary cat about this claim as I am real and the whole thing will be executed under a legitimate background that will protect me, you any other partner involved or who may involve, from any breach the law as well as violation of one’s fundamental rights.

I don't understand your 'scary cat' statement. Is that some sixties hippy speak, or a reference to an unknown work by The Cure?

Still, it…

The literate among you may like this

I know that Woof likes puzzles and I'm sure that he'd turn his hand to an anagram or two. This site provides a nifty tool as witnessed by this brief conversation with the 'bot':
webuser: Hello
sternest: I can't anagram something short
webuser: Hello, how is your bottom?
sternest: Loutish whore lobotomy.
webuser: I once had a small volkswagen
sternest: A wholesome vandal slacking.
webuser: All of my friends will be talking like pirates soon
sternest: Fallibly and fleeting silkworm. OK personalities.
webuser: Do you think that aliens would vote for the conservatives?
sternest: Hoodwink stealthy, out-and-out evil. Feverish, not overacts. [first hand knowledge there then]
webuser: My bum is hariy and smells of juniper bushes
sternest: Famously shame rubbishy mildness. Up jer in.

I can only assume that the last phrase is its way of saying 'stick it up yer arse'.

Special link for Woof

In preparation for our talk like a pirate day.

Chavs with Boom Boxes

Am I the only person who gets annoyed by the thumping bass emanating from some pratty little Corsa? This story is a wonderful tale of, if not retribution, then fighting fire with fire. There are some other wonderful ditties on here as well, like the 15 year old groper and his milky come-uppance.


OK, maybe just one more video although in my defense, it is a music video (albeit an amateur one). I quite like this song, but I did find myself thinking about what drums and guitar I'd put on it. Never happy with a simple product me, I have to embelish.

YouTube - Jenny

Are you a Cat Lover.

If not, then you'll like this video. A Sporty Ka. Enough videos for now I think.

Dominoes again

GUI Metaphors

What does your desk look like? Would this suit you?

Oh well. Better Cancel the Milk then...

Are you ready for this? Big Bang.

Bath Spa - First Customer

Bath Spa will be opening its doors soon to the paying public. One of the treatmets that isn't listed in their brochure is the Norwegian Herring Wrap. It consists of floating in the rooftop pool whilst Bath's many seagulls shit all over you.

Artistic 419

Those of you who visit this blog regularly will know that I am a fan of the odd 419 scam; well baiting them anyway. If you like scambaiting, then you'll love this. Stick with it as it gets better as it goes along.